Let's get to it...
Yesterday, day 3 on plastic. Weather has been complete turds. Rain when I wanna go outside, no rain when I rest. Can't explain the frustration at the rain. Maybe it's having a rain jacket that doesn't fit right no more cause it's too small for me now. I got it when i was a freshman in high school and I've definitely outgrown it. Nothing I can do right now about that. So climbing...inside...on plastic. It's really wearing my mind down. It's making me itch for real rock. that much more. I don't mind climbing inside at all, and have found things to keep busy on. I think I have social anxiety though. I felt really nervous and uncomfortable last night. Like complete mental shut down. I had to leave the building to go outside and calm down for a while. It only happens when some people come in though. Unexplainable. It's not rad at all. It's almost as if I have to leave altogether to not feel angry or irritated. I'll try that out next time.
But I feel really motivated on trying stuff my mind deemed way hard for myself last couple of months. I need to push myself once again. No one else will push me and I need to step up and go for it. Such a big mental mind fuck 2009 was. It's taken a lot to start to come around. Go figure. I'm excited to keep trying even I don't complete the things. It's all just making me stronger...right?
All I'm waiting for now is the rain to stop and Mortar Rock to dry out, route setting to start back up, and to work on my anxiety problem in social situations.
No comments:
Post a Comment